Why is kindness a fundamental pillar in the Happy Life System? We need to embody the mindset and heartset of kindness to achieve true happiness and joy. Our children need to understand and embody kindness to truly feel joy. 

Kindness, in its essence, is creating togetherness and a sense of belonging. As human beings, we are not separate. We are all here together and doing this thing called life TOGETHER. Are you working towards creating a sense of belonging for others? 

When we show kindness to others, it creates a ripple effect in our own lives, leading to more joy and happiness. It’s truly amazing how you can change and inspire others’ lives when you show a little kindness. Let’s dive into the kindness pillar, the elements of the kindness pillar, and how we can guide our children toward embodying kindness within themselves. 

How to Be Kind 

We’ve all heard the tried and true saying, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The Golden Rule. But what does this actually mean? This can’t just be words. Unfortunately, today’s society is built on separatism, competitiveness, and an inherently uncompassionate mindset. We have to relearn what kindness truly is. 

How can you integrate with another human? How can you show compassion and empathy to others without expecting anything in return? Giving from your heart without an agenda, just because you want to, is the truest form of showing kindness. 

Kindness elevates our lives. When we elevate the lives of others, we, in turn, become elevated. Here are the four elements of the kindness pillar of the Happy Life System. 

Appreciation 

Gratitude and appreciation are key cornerstones of the kindness pillar. Showing appreciation for something outside of yourself is actually very liberating. It’s empowering! Instead of take, take, take, what about reframing our thoughts to, “What can I give to others?” 

Showing gratitude to others for what they do for you moves you into a grateful state. When you appreciate the kind acts others show you, it brings joy to you and them. You have to be intentionally aware of when others are giving you appreciation. When you take the time to feel gratitude and joy for the actions you receive, it feeds your soul. 

Appreciation is what makes gratitude possible. It is the key element within the kindness pillar because it anchors you into being grateful. Grateful for moments, experiences, and for others. 

Some great ways to explore the appreciation element of the kindness pillar are as follows: 

• Tell someone you appreciate them 
• Tell someone that you love, that you love them 
• Write a kind note for a family member when they do something for you that you appreciate 

We must work with our children daily on the appreciation element. Engage with your child through kindness and appreciation. Ask them questions such as, “What can we be grateful for?”,  “What can we appreciate in this moment?” and “Can you show me what appreciation is?” The more you teach your child to appreciate the interactions in their life, the more joyful and empowered they will become. 

Thoughtfulness 

Thoughtfulness is thinking with intention. It is radical awareness at its finest. When I am trying to be thoughtful, I ask myself questions like, “How can I support this person in this experience?” Thoughtfulness is not about you. Thoughtfulness is about others. 

How can you be thoughtful? Coming from a place of doing something from the kindness of your heart, just because, is a great way to start. If you are truly being thoughtful in your interaction, you are not expecting anything in return from the action you took. 

Thoughtfulness is a key element of the kindness pillar. But how do thoughts work? When a thought enters your mind, YOU have the ability to actualize it. You are able to think about another person in your environment intentionally. You are able to honor and uplift others with thoughtfulness. And it all starts with just a thought. 

You have the power to be thoughtful and inspire others, even on their “just okay” days. Here are some great ways to guide your children on this element of the kindness pillar and work on your own thoughtfulness at the same time: 

• Do an act of kindness each day 
• Lend a helping hand to someone 
• Share something with another 
• Compliment someone daily 
• Write a letter to someone you have seen recently 

Thoughtfulness gives us the power to think about others in a way that can bring value to their life. Giving flowers, notes, or making a nice gesture. All of these simple actions have the power to give someone else a little boost in spirit. Work towards becoming thoughtful within an experience, not just on special occasions, and teach your children to do the same. 

Compassion 

Compassion is a key component of the kindness pillar. Compassion is having empathy for others. This means actually feeling what others are going through. Being willing to sit in uncomfortable spaces with others because that is where they are at the moment. 

Compassion is caring. Honestly, it’s a real honor to be able to share an emotion with another human being. This should be coveted, desired, and appreciated amongst humans. Compassion helps us to build and strengthen relationships with others through empathy. 

It’s unfortunate that making fun of others, berating others, and laughing at others has become normalized in today’s society. It is the antithesis of compassion. Compassion is about feeling someone else’s pain. It’s lending your energy to another, in a time of need, without an agenda. 

If you are berating others and making fun of them, you are not feeling their pain. How do we address this with our children? Teaching our children compassion for others has never been more important in a world full of bullying, cyberbullying, school dynamics, and more. When teaching compassion to your child, ask them important and reflective questions. What if you were on the receiving end of that action? How would you feel if everyone in the class was laughing at you in that way? 

How can you personally show more compassion to others? Some great ways to start practicing compassion and having your child practice compassion are: 

• Practice forgiveness for something that upsets you 
• Donate something to Goodwill 
• Practice not letting unkind acts toward you disturb you 
• Do something kind for someone who is having a bad day 
• Practice observing when someone needs to be comforted 

We are all here to learn life lessons. Sure, we will run into people along our life journey that we don’t mesh with as easily as others. Even those individuals are on a life journey. So how can you show compassion to others, even to those that may not be your closest friends or confidants? 

Manners 

It’s sad, but true manners have been lost in society over time. Being thoughtful, attentive, and showing appreciation for others is a forgotten virtue. What happened to etiquette? What happened to chivalry? 

Manners include showing genuine love for others behind everything you are doing. They help others feel seen, heard, and loved. Manners show support and acceptance for others. Additionally, they develop a strong energy with others through teamwork of creating a happy and harmonious society. 

One of my favorite aspects of manners is living life as the experience it is. Dress up! Get fancy and look good, feel good, and be your best self. One of the lost pieces of manners is that when they are practiced, they show your value to society. When you take pride in yourself and your behavior, others do the same. When you value yourself, others value you too. 

Utilizing manners gives us an opportunity to sit in love, show attention to others, and contribute to our society in a positive way. Give love and attention to others with authenticity, and do so through practicing manners. 

Manners are the bridge to bringing beauty into our world. Without them, there is a disconnection and isolation from others in your surroundings. Here are some simple yet effective ways to dive into the manners element of the kindness pillar: 

• Open doors for others 
• Show respect for others 
• Practice being a good listener 
• Observe when someone else needs space and give it to them 

Are you honoring the presence of others? Are you making others feel seen, heard, and valued in your presence? Through manners, you can show that you value yourself and value those around you. 

Be Kind: What is The Enemy of Kindness 

Let’s take a look at the antithesis of kindness. The enemy of kindness is separatism. When we can’t see kindness or feel kindness, we become separate. It leads to an unhappy life. Connection, thoughtfulness, and appreciation lead to joy. 

We’ve all known or seen people who are suffering from separatism. They fall into isolation, depression, and even substance abuse. Kindness is the bridge that leads to a wealthy life. 

Live a Wealthy Life Through Kindness 

What is a wealthy life? A wealthy life does not consist of piles of money, countless possessions, jewels, and cars. Kindness leads to true wealth, not material wealth. True wealth is connection, abundance, joy, and a full life in all the pillars of the Happy Life System. 

Through kindness, you can give your love and energy to others, elevating them and yourself in return. We have the ability to inspire others’ lives. Practice kindness to elevate and empower others, and you will be elevated and empowered in return.