When your children start fighting, what is your first response?
Typically, you intervene and put a stop to it, right?
Why?
- Maybe you have always dreamed of your children being best friends, and watching the tensions grow made you rush in to solve the problem for them.
- It could be that you want them to be kind and respectful to one another.
- Perhaps their noisiness and fighting were getting on your nerves.
No matter the reason for the intervention, what usually happens afterward?
One person, if not everyone, is more frustrated and tense. Chances are someone stormed off.
It makes sense! In situations where a parent puts their foot down and demands it to stop, nobody is truly heard, and nothing is actually solved; you just expend your energy and parental power to make it go away. By the end of it, there you are, doing what you thought was best and ending up feeling like “the bad cop” in the situation.
It leaves you wondering, “How did we get here?”
It’s easy to forget that children are just small humans. They have the same emotions, feelings, and needs that adults have. They have relationships and friendships, and they will experience strain within those.
Imagine for a minute that someone did the same thing to you as an adult…
How would you respond if someone came in, stopped, and separated you and your partner while you were in the midst of working through some issues?
Of course, it’s not exactly the same. Even with the same feelings and emotions as adults, children are still learning how to navigate the world. Situations like this need your guidance. So, next time you find your children in the midst of discord and disharmony, I invite you to try using this Happy Life System technique:
Call for a Reshift of the Happy Life System Way
- Ask them to take 5 minutes in separate peaceful silence to breathe, to go within, and find what it is they truly need in the situation. They can write it down or draw a picture to illustrate their needs. This breaks up and disperses the chaos, allowing space for self-reflection.
- When they are finished, give each one “the floor” so that they can share with each other what they were able to understand during their self-reflection and present their letter or drawing.
- Let them know that they can’t move forward until they hear each other, hug, and find harmony.
This Happy Life System technique removes you from the policing role and allows you to be in the guidance role. You are no longer the filter of their every move. They are now learning how to expand their awareness of self-reflection in their own life and how to be accountable for their feelings and emotions. Most of all, they are learning how to BUILD OPEN RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS. This will give them a solid foundation to evolve into the greatest, most aware, kind humans. Most importantly, you will no longer have to filter their every move.
I’m so excited to share all my tips and tools that will harmonize your entire family so you all can enjoy this beautiful life together every single day.
